What Should I Ask My Birth Parents When I’ve Found Them?

It’s completely natural for an adoptee to want to know where they’re from…but when it comes to finally meeting your birth family, it doesn’t always go quite the way you had in mind! So we advise getting here are 4 pieces of advice from the Adoption Specialist for your very first meeting.

Express your gratitude

First and foremost, express how grateful you are to your adoptive parents and let them know you are intending to find your birth parents. Your adoptive parents should be supportive of your decision but also be prepared for the opposite too. Conflicting feelings are a common feeling for your adoptive parents. They want what’s best for you, but they may worry that they could lose you to your birth parents.

When you finally meet your birth parents, thank them for meeting with you.

Listen to what your birth parents have to say

When meeting your birth parents for the first time, you may have lots of questions and want to ask. This is an important moment and you may learn more by listening than talking to them.

Don’t be angry about the past

Perhaps you were abandoned or your birth parents never attempted to contact you. You never told them of the trauma that this may have caused you. This reunion is an opportunity to express your feelings with caution and not act in an angry or frustrated way. This can lead to little to no communication in the future.

The initial meeting should be a time to enjoy meeting your biological parents, so enjoy the moment.

Expect the unexpected

A birth parent reunion is great, but anything can happen. Always leave room for grace and understanding. You don’t know what to expect and neither do they.

Take it slow. There will be plenty of questions you will want to ask, but be patient.

A list of questions to ask your birth parents

The adoption specialist has a list of questions you could ask on your first meeting with your birth parents

  • What were the circumstances surrounding my birth?
  • What is my heritage?
  • Do I have any siblings I don’t know about?
  • Who do I look like in our family?
  • Do you have any pictures of my family members?
  • Tell me about my grandparents

Possibly one of the most important questions…

Why did you place me for adoption?

The Adoption Specialist can help you find your birth Family

If you’re looking to find your birth parents, then contact the adoption specialist today.

Fill out our Search Request Form or call us on (562) 438 6589 to get your journey started with us.

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